Happy Memories

Written May 23, 2022

3 years ago today Nicholas proposed at sunrise

1 year ago we landed on Santorini for our honeymoon

& yesterday I cried, almost uncontrollably, at a restaurant, because what’s normally our favorite activity – breakfast out – turned into me being embarrassed to order due to my speech, pain while attempting to eat my favorite food (french toast), and difficulty swallowing, which made even water a little scary

Times have been really tough, I would say even tougher than when I was going through treatment

The daily support is gone, the daily progress has slowed and even regresses some days, my mind isn’t as positive as I’d like – I stopped posting as often because I felt I didn’t deserve the support now that treatment is over, I stopped listening to my Motivation playlist because that was for “the tough times”, and I’m stressed about getting back into a routine that I don’t even know how to do right now

but today when my phone flooded me with photos of the engagement and Greece I realized something really special

Those were – supposedly – the happiest days of my life up until that point – I really felt they were the peak of existence…but today I know I have known happiness so so much deeper than those days because of Cancer. I have learned so much this year about what it takes to be truly happy and acceptance of where you are in the here and now is a huge part of that.

So, I enjoyed the memories, and feel so grateful them & for even happier times ahead

I hope everyone’s weeks are off to a beautiful start & thank you for listening