Let’s Talk

Written August 11, 2022

Yes, I want to talk about it.

I want people to ask me how I’m doing, I want them to find out I had cancer and ask “what kind?” “When?” “How was it treated?” And “are you okay?”

It helps me process it all to tell my story. I have moments when the experience grips me, even takes me to my knees in a panic attack, and I know that’s partly because it feels unresolved, unsettled. My belief is opening up about it will help lesson the intensity and frequency of those moments.

Maybe this is on me? Maybe I need to bring it up to people? It feels wrong on my end too. Why burden others with your burden?

Still, I find myself almost thinking others rude when they don’t ask. When they don’t bring it up. Then I have to pause, and remind myself their conditioning probably tells them otherwise.

Don’t bring up painful experiences. Don’t be nosey. Don’t pry in the personal lives of others.

Now, I can’t speak for every cancer patient, so I’m speaking for me.

I want to talk about it, and you are welcome to ask me.

You are welcome to ask me if you get diagnosed, if a family member gets diagnosed, if there’s something about treatment you don’t understand – really whatever. I would love nothing more than to educate others the best I can – it will be through the lens of my experience – but I’ll do the best I can.

This is probably long enough to get my point across, and I do want to end with this.

I think not talking about “it”

“It” maybe being any taboo topic

Is why it’s taboo

And all the conversations we never have at the risk of making anyone uncomfortable is the reason everyone is so uncomfortable. So divided, even.

My belief is, if the person you ask doesn’t want to talk about it, it’s their right and responsibility to say “actually…I don’t want to talk about this” and then it’s the responsibility of the questioner to respect them. I don’t think it’s right or responsible for the questioner to remain silent instead, never asking at all. (I will have to take my own advice when it comes to the “when are you starting a family” question)

I hope these thoughts are at least worth a penny to someone, felt good to get them out of my head at least.

Peace & Love, Y’all

Your Friendly Neighborhood ~Recovering~ Cancer Patient

Update August 10, 2024

I just met with a group yesterday who wants to fly out to meet me and my Mom to film our testimonial re: battling cancer and her caretaking role – certainly no need to go to this extreme! 😉 But, I would be lying if it I said it didn’t feel nice to know my story will reach even more people and have the potential to even – dare I say – save a life!

May that be a reminder to y’all – maybe I haven’t given one in a while – if you find something *new* in your mouth that does not go away within two weeks – see your dentist!

🦷 Your Friendly Neighborhood Recovering Cancer Patient